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Home Anganga Che Chitekwe

Fit as a Fiddle, or Fiddling with the Truth?

Ibrahim Mponda by Ibrahim Mponda
May 5, 2025
in Anganga Che Chitekwe, Featured Stories, Opinion
Reading Time: 3 mins read
The Undisputed Leader of Confusion                                             -Anganga Che Chitekwe
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Dear readers. The saga continues. This week, the air in the village is thick with the unmistakable smell of backtracking, denial, and political perfume — all courtesy of Anganga Che Chitekwe.

After weeks of rumour-mongering, sideline scheming, and a dramatic withdrawal from the race to rejoin the Village Committee of Elders, Anganga Che Chitekwe has now resurfaced with what he is calling “a clarification.” To quote him directly.

“Let it be known to all citizens and well-wishers that I, Anganga Che Chitekwe, have never imposed my nephew, niece, or distant cousin on the people. Lies! All of it are lies spread by jealous villagers.”

Now, Anganga Che Chitekwe has since been striding into the village, with James holding him up like scaffolding, declaring loudly that he was here to “reclaim what is rightfully mine.” This was interpreted as his official return to the race.

And so, the village has spiraled back into confusion. Is he running? Is he not? Is he installing a puppet? Is he being puppeteered himself? The people want answers, and Anganga Che Chitekwe has delivered none — except a fresh batch of contradictory declarations.

What is most remarkable is Anganga Che Chitekwe’s latest claim: that he is “fit as a fiddle” and fully capable of leading the village committee once again.

James seems to also agree with him: “He is very fit,” he said during a village gathering.

Meanwhile, Aunt Martha, who now refers to herself as the “Shadow Chairlady-in-Waiting,” has been spotted making calls and meeting market women, church elders, promising them “priority maize allocations” once her husband is back in power.

Back in the village square, the elders have had enough. One particularly fed-up elder stood up at the last meeting and asked, “How can someone who can’t count his own pills manage to vigorously campaign throughout the village?” The room erupted into nervous laughter and murmurs, until Anganga Che Chitekwe suddenly appeared (uninvited), wagging his finger and announcing, “I may forget names, but I remember duty!”

In the end, dear readers, no one is quite sure what is going on. The elders are confused. The villagers are exhausted. James looks like he’s aged ten years in the past week. And as for Mavuto? He’s gone mysteriously silent and seems he has taken to “praying about it” as he has recently been seen all over attending church services almost in every congregation, sometimes his attendance is without invitation.

For Anganga Che Chitekwe, we are not certain whether this is all due to old age, unchecked ambition, or the strategic maneuvering of his domestic advisory council (James and Aunt Martha). One thing is clear though, Anganga Che Chitekwe is back, and he wants everyone to know that he never left.

Until next week, brace yourselves for the next plot twist from the walking paradox, the self-declared fittest fiddle in the village orchestra: Anganga Che Chitekwe.

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