First, he sleeps through a prayer meeting, now he’s rousing the boys? We don’t know what game plan Anganga Che Chitekwe is up to-One elder whispered in surprise.
Dear readers. To say that Anganga Che Chitekwe has lots of surprises up his sleeves would be an understatement. Anganga Che Chitekwe, in fact has a drum full of surprises. This week, we witnessed yet another shocker which led to the official transformation of Anganga Che Chitekwe from “Elder Statesman” to what villagers now affectionately call “The Sleeping Giant of the Village”.
And this sleeping giant accolade has come in literal senses of the word.
It all started when a delegation of well-meaning church elders paid a visit to his homestead. Their mission was simple: gently and respectfully convince Anganga Che Chitekwe to withdraw from his ambition to return to the Village Committee of Elders. They cited the usual: his age, his health, his tendency to bring confusion in very important public meetings, and, of course, all the chaos that follow him like a shadow.
But alas, Anganga Che Chitekwe was not in a listening mood, because he was not in a waking mood either.
As the leader of the church delegation was opening the meeting with a prayer Anganga Che Chitekwe, began to doze awkwardly. By the time the opening prayer ended, he was fully horizontal in his armchair, snoring loud enough to rattle teacups in the kitchen. Some elders thought it was a joke. Others assumed he was praying in tongues. But when the snoring hit a deep, rolling rumble, everyone knew: the meeting had just turned into a nap for the old man.
The elders waited patiently. They cleared their throats. One of the church elders even suggested a short hymn would wake him up. Nothing worked.
James, his loyal aide, whispered, “He’s just meditating.” Knowing Anganga Che Chitekwe nobody dared to physically wake him. After 45 minutes of meditation that included loud sleep-mumbling the elders thought they could not go on with the meeting and quietly got up and left.
Their conclusion? The man is simply no longer fit to hold any public office that requires staying awake for longer than ten minutes.
But wait, it gets better and interesting
Later that same day, after the napping summit with the church elders, Anganga Che Chitekwe summoned his own meeting. This one was not with bishops or deacons. No, dear readers, this was with the boys of the village—you know, the kind who wear sunglasses at night and are always seen loitering near beer halls despite having no known source of income. Yes, those boys. The ones whose names alone make you shudder with fear.
The meeting was held behind closed doors, but of course, in our village, nothing stays secret. Word has it Anganga Che Chitekwe addressed the boys with surprising energy, even declaring that there is need to “protect the legacy of our elders from keyboard warriors and WhatsApp rebels.”
Now the village is not only in shock but also in full panic mode. Was this a strategy meeting? A warning? Or a preparation for a campaign that would involve more panga wielding youths.
One elder whispered in surprise, “First he sleeps through a prayer meeting, now he’s rousing the boys? We don’t know what game plan Anganga Che Chitekwe is up to.”
Aunt Martha, ever the spin doctor, told passersby that the boys were “just helping clean the yard,” but no one ever saw any cleaning tools carried into the compound. What was seen, however, were panga knives and two crates of opaque beer disappearing into the back yard.
James, as always, tried to clarify the confusion when he was confronted later at the trading center: ” Anganga Che Chitekwe is still very focused on community development. The boys are just part of his new youth outreach program and strategizing on how to bring back our village’s glory.” Right. Youth outreach that includes machetes?
Meanwhile, Anganga Che Chitekwe continues on his path, “wide awake and ready to lead.”
“They now call me the Sleeping Giant of the Village? Good. Even a lion must rest before the hunt,” some of the villagers overhead him saying soon the meeting with the boys of the village.
Dear readers, I leave you with this thought: how do you reason with a man who sleeps through church and then wakes up to rally the village’s most feared hooligans? Is he planning a comeback or a coup? Is this leadership or lunacy? Something is not adding up or it might be James and Aunt Martha still pushing hard behind the scenes. Only time—and maybe James alone—will tell.
Until next time, please watch your backs, and for goodness’ sake, lock up your goats tightly.
