Dear readers. Now it seems Anganga Che Chitekwe is even more desperate than before in his bid to get back to the Village Committee of Elders. This week, the old man went into an overdrive with a full-blown “operation comeback,” calling meetings of the elders to solicit more support before moving on to roll out his clandestine plan of stirring up the usual village confusion using his rabid boys.
It all started on Wednesday. Out of the blue, Anganga Che Chitekwe summoned an impromptu meeting with some of the village at his homestead on the banks of the river. Not with an invitation card, no. He sent James, his ever-loyal aide, galloping through the village on a bicycle with a pot cover in hand, banging it like a war drum. “The Big Man wants to speak!” James shouted. Some villagers actually thought it was a funeral announcement.
Once the elders gathered, they found Anganga Che Chitekwe already seated under his favourite mango tree, dressed in a suit three sizes too big and, as always, his blue tie tightly knotted like he was going to meet a president. Present were his usual lieutenants including Aunt Martha.
“Gentlemen,” he began, dramatically clearing his throat. “I have called you here because I am deeply troubled. The current Committee of Elders is trying to block my return. They are scared. Scared of my wisdom. Scared of my leadership. Scared of everything that I represent!”
One of the elders, coughed gently. “But Anganga, you are 91. Maybe it’s time to rest and let others lead.”
“Rubbish!” Anganga Che Chitekwe snapped. “When I was your age, I was leading two committees, three councils, and a football club all at once!”
No one could confirm this. In fact, just like his claims of being a professor outside the country, many believe the football club referred to never existed.
Still, the man wasn’t done.
Later that same day, Anganga Che Chitekwe met with some of the “boys” from the village—the ones who are well-known for wearing dark sunglasses at night and solving disagreements with machete threats. Apparently, he gave them what he called “wise words,” but most of us suspect those words came with brown envelopes and promises of “big roles in the new order.”
I personally overheard one of the boys telling another, “The old man says if we help him come back, each of us gets a plot of land near the river.”
Now, the whole village is uneasy.
Some say Anganga Che Chitekwe is building his own small army. Others believe it’s James and Aunt Martha pushing the old man to go that far. They have their own fears that are pushing them to have the old man back, using him like a remote-controlled tractor.
But let’s be honest, it is clear that Anganga Che Chitekwe needs to rest, he has done his part. At his Wednesday meeting, just like the meeting with a group of Church elders, he again dozed off halfway through his own speech. He woke up ten minutes later and continued talking as if nothing had happened—except now he was talking about maize prices in 1976.
The elders were left confused. James smiling as usual.
So, here we are again. Anganga Che Chitekwe is not backing down. He still believes the village cannot function without him. And while we all agree that he’s a legend, we also agree that maybe—just maybe—it’s time he becomes a legend of the past, not the future. Or worse a legend of mayhem and chaos.
Until next week, stay safe, stay sane, and keep your doors locked… just in case one of Anganga Che Chitekwe’s “boys” comes knocking.
