Brace yourselves, Malawians. The Western rainmakers are at it again.
Word on the street is that tomorrow, Afrobarometer yes, that same foreign-funded opinion oracle disguised as empirical science is set to unleash another thunderstorm. And as usual, the target is clear: the MCP. Because apparently, real leadership, no matter how imperfect, must be punished for refusing to bow to neo-colonial orthodoxy.
Let’s get one thing straight. Afrobarometer has never set out to read the mood of Africans. It sets out to create it. Its reports are less about the actual sentiment in townships and villages, and more about what Washington, London, and Brussels hope the sentiment is. It’s not polling it’s puppeteering.
And what convenient timing. Just as the IMF global capitalism’s compliance department throws its latest tantrum, cutting off funding like an angry step-parent withholding lunch money. Why? Because Malawi wouldn’t dance fast enough to their tired tune of austerity, currency devaluation, and unholy liberalisation.
But let’s call a spade a shovel: this isn’t about economics. It’s about control. Malawi’s economy has been in a tailspin for decades precisely because of policy prescriptions from the very institutions now wagging their fingers. Inflation? Debt? Forex crisis? You mean the symptoms of decades of Structural Adjustment, forced liberalisation, and a global economy rigged against African productivity?
And yet here comes Afrobarometer, clipboard in hand, asking leading questions on WhatsApp, funded by the same “development partners” that wrote the IMF script.
They say Peter Mutharika is the West’s new darling. Of course he is. He’s older, quieter, and more… accommodating. A perfect vessel to smuggle in not just policy rollbacks, but culture shifts. Because make no mistake: at the heart of this sudden Western affection is not just economic ideology it’s social reprogramming. The subtle but relentless push of identity politics, rainbow diplomacy, and donor-sanctioned values that fit neatly into the “Global North’s” playbook.
They want a stooge. Not a sovereign.
And when Afrobarometer’s report drops, remember this: it’s not the voice of the people. It’s the ventriloquism of foreign interest, spoken through the mouth of a dusty clipboard and a grant funded spreadsheet.
So, laugh when they say 80% of Malawians feel this or 70% believe that. If you can’t trace the questions, the funding, or the motivations then you’re not reading data. You’re reading propaganda.
We are not laboratory rats for failed economic experiments. We are not cultural colonies for Western guilt relief. We are a people proud, battered, and still standing.
And no Afrobarometer reading will change that.
